Saturday, December 27, 2008

Alas ! I Think I Am Finally Done.

As this year is closing to it's end, I have been dealing with a bad year that I want to be done with. This year has not only brought me a trip to Florida to be with my dad while he went through heart surgery, a trip to Indiana for my vacation which turned out to be totally spent in the hospital with my mother and her stroke, back again last month when my mother passed away, but a whole year of dredging up my past with my ex, who I thought was my soul mate. My ex's time is now up, it's done and it's gone. I sit here and pray that this new year will bring me a much better year. I am now ready to let go of my ex, after such a very long time of crying and worrying about him. I feel this is in my best interest because it's just holding me back of a future that I might be able to have. I had a long history with him but I am letting go now because I have to. I need to move forward with my life and I need to start a new life for myself--which does not include worry about him any more. I know that we will never be and I am now going to accept this. Here's to a new year in my future, and hopefully to you all too. May this new year be a good one. I know there's so much out there for me, so Cheers!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Will I Ever Stop Wondering About Him?

Now that I am no longer with my ex, I feel as though so much pressure has been relieved of me. I no longer have to be in "his" routine. I no longer have to do things the way that HE expects things to be done and I can finally get back to being myself, whoever that is. I have been with him for so long that I have to find myself again. With Christmas now upon us, I have been going through the normal holiday trends of buying gifts and putting up a tree and all the merryment of Christmas. However, this morning, I woke up and he was on my mind, and I really don't know exactly why. I have not paid any mind to how he is, what he has been doing or who he has been with at all but this morning, he is on my mind. I don't know if it's because I just lost my mother and I have been sad and it just seemed to hit me like a loud clap of thunder or maybe it's because our daughter has been trying to reach him for a couple of days and he is not answering her call. She reluctently bought him a Christmas present stating to me as she bought it that he probably wouldn't think about her for Christmas but she bought it for him anyways. She loves her dad even though he has treated her so ugly. I want so bad to get in it and go over there and rip his eyes out but that wouldn't do any good so I sit here and write. Maybe the writing will help me work through this horrible pain I am going through. Why does this man have to tear our daughter up after all that he has done to us and our marriage? Why did he ever have to have "other women"? Here I am, again wondering why and I was trying so hard to put him behind me. Will I ever be free of him and stop wondering about him?

Monday, December 22, 2008

What Do I Want For Christmas?

What do I want for Christmas this year? Usually, I am not really picky about what I want because I am just grateful for what I have been given. Sure, a new robe would be nice and a new box of goodies sound nice to have but what I want most in life is to have peace. I want to be able to go through every day living with peace in my heart and song in my step. I have focused so much on what I haven't gotten with my ex, and how so many things went wrong. I need to try and focus now on what's new and upcoming for me in the future. I have been truly blessed with my children, my family and my friends. I have been blessed with fairly good health, and I need to stand up and start taking better care of ME.

Monday, December 15, 2008

What Does Christmas Mean To You?

What does Christmas mean to you? To me, it isn't all about spending every last dollar you own on buying presents. I discovered a long time ago that when children are small, they don't always keep up with every single toy. Christmas to me has always meant family and friends. Moms, grandparents, children, aunts and uncles all gathering around the home for food, drink, talk and laughter. What if you are newly divorced this year and you haven't a clue about what you are going to do on Christmas? What if your life is just in limbo? What do you do? How about making some new memories? If you have children, you can find new projects to do with them. Riding around looking at other's Christmas lights is something enjoyable. Baking cookies together is another thing that you can do together. How about wrapping presents together? Making Christmas cards is also alot of fun. If you are strapped for cash this year, why not go in on a drawing with your family members so you don't have so many to buy for? This year, my daughter is getting one big gift item and a few small ones. For me, Christmas also means that God is still here for me and my family, even if my ex isn't.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Is She Still My Aunt?

What happens when you divorce and you HAD nephews and nieces that once called you aunt or uncle? Do they still continue to call you that? Are they still your relatives? That's a hard question because I once went through that situation and ended up with half of them still calling me aunt and the other half not. Of course, it does hurt your feelings if you were really close and then all of a sudden, due to the divorce, they no longer consider you family, even if you have been with that family a very long time. When my older children once asked me if I was still the aunt to one of their cousins I told them yes, because I was their mother and they are a part of me, so that didn't change anything. If their father chose to get married with someone else, they might be a step-aunt but I would still be an aunt because of me being a mother to my children... I know, sounds very mind boggling. What do you think about it?

Monday, December 8, 2008

Visiting The In-Laws At Christmas Time

Christmas is coming and we all know that while we are married, we have our fair share of going to the in-law's house for celebrating. Now, I never had the chance to go and visit my ex's in-laws because they live in Mexico and my ex told me that we couldn't ever go there because someone might take our child....yes, I think now that he just told me that because he didn't want me to find his hidden secrets there......but what about you? What do you do when you are no longer married to your ex and you have considered his family "yours" for a very long time? Do you still go and visit them, despite the fact that your ex might be with someone else? Do you still give them gifts? You can't just turn off your feelings because your ex has suddenly decided to put you out of his family...that wasn't your choice. Well, in my opinion, if you were close to that family, then you still have the right to go and visit them, especially if you have their grandchildren. What are you going to do this year, visit the in-laws or not?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Name Brand Shopping?

When you go to buy groceries, I know that some things are better by the brand name, but have you tried using some of the store brands? In some cases, these items can be cheaper than the brand even with a coupon. Before I even step foot into the grocery store I always make out a list of the things that I really need, and yes, I do buy other things as well, but it makes it easier with a list. Some even plan out a menu for the week which makes it doubly easy for shopping, but I don't always have time to do that. I find that if I can get something on sale and find a coupon that coordinates with that sale item, I can save even more. Do your children like a particular item? You can go online and put in a search for that item to see if there's a coupon out for it, and boy that really helps. Money is tight sometimes so you gotta save where ever you can these days!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Christmas Spending Budget

As Christmas quickly approaches we are anxious to get out and get our family gifts for the big day. What do you do if you are on a tight budget? After all, being single means only having one income coming in and not very much left over to buy those gifts. I have learned how to combat this issue. First of all, I have my daughter make a list of several things that she might want. Secondly, I get the Sunday paper and go through all the ads to see if anything she wants is on sale. I also get online at several different sites to grab coupons. Yes, it might sound corny but coupons actually do help stretch the budget. Here are my sites that really help, and not only for Christmas, but in grocery shopping as well. I don't stockpile like alot of women do when couponing, but am considering stockpiling things like toilet paper and toothpaste. Also, if there's something that you like you can also google it, such as going to your search bar and putting in something like: bath and body works coupons and viola!! Just see what appears.
okay, there's my take on things. Be careful which sites you choose to coupon with though because some of them want you to answer alot of questions before you get to the coupons....not with these sites, they are great. Happy Saving!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Who Do I Cuddle Up To When The Weather Gets Cold?

Well, it's December and the weather here has it's ups and downs. Sometimes it's cold, and other times not. It's Texas and so it doesn't matter that it's supposed to be cold right now. Who can I cuddle up to now that I don't have my ex to snuggle with? My daughter is a teen now so she's really into being a teen and so I look around here and wonder who is going to get me through the cold weather? Well, I guess I must have to learn how to get warmed up by myself. I went and bought a very soft robe last week and I know that the hot cocoa will certainly make things better as well. Do I need him? Heck no !!! I will learn how to adjust on my own. I think that I am learning how to be stronger every day, and that's a great thing. Maybe one day, there will be a new love to cuddle up with, but until then, I will be fine.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Aging Process

For me, I have always looked younger than I am, but being through his infidelity and a divorce had really put me through the wringer. I cried, oh how I cried, but I had to learn that it just wasn't meant to be. Although I take pride in taking care of myself, I found myself doing the unthinkable, and in my case, I went outside the house without my makeup on. I don't wear much but have always worn it but while I was crying my eyes out so much, I just didn't want to wear it. I had big saggy, baggy eyes that were swollen like they had been bee stung. Did I start looking old? Yes, I guess I sort of did for awhile but now things are starting to shape up for me. I no longer feel like I need to cry about it, and yes, it's been awhile now since I left, but I think that things just take their own time to heal. Am I getting older? Yes, but I am learning how to get better!!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

E-books To Catch Your Cheating Partner - Review

There are many resources online that claim to help you discover the secrets of your cheating partner. Your search is over. Listed below are 3 top e-books that teach you the in's and out's of catching your cheating spouse. Each source is comprehensive and loaded with good information on what you need to know about a cheater, how to deal with a cheater, how to deal with the many emotions you will encounter, and what you need to do "on the other side" of infidelity. Click on each product to get more detailed information. Best wishes in your search for the truth and a happier you!

How To Catch Your Cheating Lover, Edward Talurdey
  • How to quickly get “iron-clad” proof of an affair that can never be reasoned or explained away!
  • The startling truth on how men and women lie differently
  • The 2 simple words that will expose even the best liar!
  • This material is only for those who are fed up with their partners antics and are serious about finding out what’s been going on when “no one is watching”.

Beating Cheating, Jim Walthby
  • Immediately spot the 5 “Tell-Tale” signs & mistakes that every cheater will always make so you can expose them!
  • “Beating Cheating Emergency Kit,” a vital collection of helpful tools that should constantly be a part of your trusted arsenal for survival!
  • Learn how to discreetly gather “ALL” pertinent evidence, facts and biological proof without being noticed or raising a single concern or suspicion.

How To Catch A Cheating Spouse, Sarah Paul
  • Learn our powerful strategies to catch them red-handed
  • Discover the top signs in your sex life that point to an affair and exactly how long the affair has been going on.
  • Find out the dirty tricks cheating partners use to cover their paper trail and how you can expose them quickly!
  • The most comprehensive and easiest-to-follow catch a cheating spouse book on the market

Is She Going To Buy Him A Present This Year?

Buying Christmas this year just means buying for one less person, yes, you guessed it!!! It's for him. Now, I didn't buy him a present last year either, but had to help my daughter buy one so it was nearly the same thing. This year, she is old enough to take care of that on her own, but will she actually do it? He made no attempt to even see her for her birthday, didn't come to her quinceanera, didn't send a card---nothing. He doesn't come around at all, so will she go out and buy her dad something this year? Well, you got me on that one because I don't even know right now. I am not going to say anything to her either way because I want her to make up her own mind about what to do, but if she asks my opinion, I will most likely tell her to at least get him something because he is her father......Ok, don't jump on what I just said, I just want my daughter to do what she feels is right. So, I wonder, Will she buy him a gift afterall? Time will tell.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

What Comes Around--Goes Around, So They Say

What comes around- goes around, or so they say. I would love to know if that's true, but it does seem so. Ever since my ex has cheated on me and we went our separate ways, he has run into some problems. First of all, he was on top of a roof, on a ladder and fell off!!! He was out of work ( he is self employed) and was unable to work for about 6 months. The next thing that I knew, once he was healed and back to work again, someone hit his work van and totaled it out leaving him to have to buy another one when he was nearly finished with the payments of the old one. Does he associate all this bad stuff with what he got because he treated his family so horribly??? Probably not. How long will this karma stuff keep getting to him? Interesting.

Monday, December 1, 2008

My Self-Centered Ex

Why in the heck was my ex so self centered? Did our actual life HAVE to revolve around him? What ever happened to "us" meaning"we" ," him and I" and not just him? Do we get in a relationship and get so comfortable that we start losing our spouse over the petty things in life? I was a very good spouse......cooked, cleaned the house, did the laundry and yes, he had as much sex as he wanted, so what went wrong? Did I forget to make his food the way that he liked it? Or was his clothes not done right? Oh, or maybe the kids were making too much noise? We did have a communication problem at times because he just didn't want to know when the bills were due, he didn't want to hear any of the kids school things, he just didn't want to be bothered, and so I took care of it all. Oh, maybe he just felt like the only thing he had to do in our relationship was to work and I was to do EVERYTHING else. Did he have to be so into himself that he just thought in his own mind that I would never find out about the OW? I didn't owe him the luxury of having another woman. I thought that marriage was about 2 people, not just one. And what does forever mean? In my case, it only meant 13 years.

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