Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Do You Just Supress Your Feelings?

I have found that with time, my feelings about the divorce are not so open and fresh anymore. I don't know if that's because I have  supressed them way inside of myself so that I can't feel them anymore or if it's time that has taken away the bitterness of the whole thing. It's been such a long time that we were together and I no longer worry about him. That is a good thing. There are times when certain circumstances come along that I remember some of the good times, such as hearing a song from when we were together, and then the bad times, when I just so happen to come across a picture of us in our happier times. During those bad memory times, I do tend to let my mind wander back into the past and it's during that time that I sometimes start to feel a really bad rush come to me as though it were just yesterday. Is that because my mind is starting to remember all the things that I hid way back inside of myself from long ago? Or maybe it's just that I have supressed those feelings to the point that they don't ever come out like they used to, unless I have brought them to mind. Do we ever really get over our hurt to the point that when we look back, we aren't upset about some things as though they happened only yesterday? Anybody ever truely get completely over the "bad" memories? I am glad that today I am honestly able to say that I have grown as a woman and am able to say that I am happy it's over...... will my brain ever stop looking back at the bad stuff? I know that I have learned from all of this, and that's a good thing.

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