I Choose to Serve

Dear Darlene,

Thank you so much for your post [Love and Let Go] today. The Lord has used you in a tremendous way to speak to my heart. I am currently going through some difficult times with my husband. Your words have reminded me that I am to inspire not to control.

Today, I exercise my freedom to choose. I will choose to love and let go rather than push and shove. I choose to let his choice be his choice. I choose to serve.

Thank you again for blessing me today!

Growing in grace,

"Choosing to Serve"

P.S. I have printed out a copy of that article and am going to hang it in my closet as a daily reminder!



Dear Choosing to Serve,

Thank you so much for your letter. I appreciate your encouragement and cherish your fellowship.

There was so much to say on this topic. While I didn't want to run on with my words in that blog post, it really got me thinking about particular circumstances in my relationship where I've had to put my choices aside to respect his.

For example, every time we leave the mall (and we live five minutes away) my husband drives in the opposite direction and takes the long road home. It drives me crazy, and I have such a hard time biting my tongue because I just want to get home.

He has a friend who smells really bad and most would consider “different.” I mean this guy stands at the bus stop and yells, "Your gall-darn mother!" into thin air--repeatedly. If he comes over I can smell him the minute I open the front door, even if he's at the other end of the house, but my husband loves him. He grew up with him, and this guy is like an uncle to him. We've bought him some things, like a TV and a bicycle to help him out but he always lands up giving these things away to his barber.

Another thing my husband has done in the past (but he's respectfully improved) was eat cold cereal for dinner on days when I've cooked an awesome chicken dinner, made spaghetti, or meatloaf. He would say, "Would you mind if I just had cereal?"

I'd say I don't mind, and then I'd pout and give him the silent treatment, assuming that men "get" what the silent treatment means. Most of the time they don't. Girlfriends do of course because we're mind readers, but that's a whole other story. LOL!

I've had to come to accept his idiosyncrasies including his choice of friends, how much time he spends in the bathroom, what route he likes to take home, and the fact that he falls asleep during 90% of the movies we watch. And the truth is I've also come to see the beauty behind many of his choices.

The only real way we can live in harmony is by realizing that while we are one in unity, we are separate human beings with a separate set of emotions, reactions, and passions. We were raised by different parents, teased by different children, and influenced by different mentors over the course of our lives.

The choices he makes result in the consequences he deals with. I'm created to be his helper, which means that I also want to be his cheerleader, not his instructor, his mother, his coach or his teacher. I’m his wife.

I’m blessed to see women like you who are willing to joyfully serve, even if that means biting your tongue once in a while or letting his choices override yours.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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