What it Means to "Cover" Our Marriage

Wherefore let him that thinketh he
standeth take heed lest he fall.
~ 1 Corinthians 10:12


I recently picked up a copy of Marriage Undercover by Bob and Audrey Meisner. Their story guides couples to find hope and rescue through the biblical principle of “covering” to protect their marriage.

Covering is a new concept to me. Certainly I’ve read about it in the Bible, but it wasn’t until I got a few chapters in that the light went on. I began to see the connection in shielding my marriage from pain and shame and the principles laid out in scripture. My mind went off on a trail of its own...

I got to thinking about Noah, and the events that were recorded in Genesis chapter nine. We learn from the story that after planting a vineyard, Noah was found drunk and naked in his tent. His son Ham witnessed his father’s indiscretion, but rather than concealing the incident he went to tell his two brothers about it.

On one hand, it sounds like an awful thing for someone to do, but on the other hand I realize that I’m guilty in much the same way. There have been times when my husband has done things that have really gotten under my skin; times when his imperfection and human weakness is revealed, and I’m left with two choices: one is to respond as God would have me respond, and the other choice is to grab my cell phone, head outside for a walk, call a good friend, and vent.

Whether we’re mocking another for their human failure or venting in anger, we’re exposing their wounds to the world rather than seeking a way to bring healing to them.


And Shem and Japheth took a garment,
and laid it upon both their shoulders,
and went backward, and covered the
nakedness of their father; and their faces
were backward, and they saw not
their father's nakedness.
~ Genesis 9:23


In Marriage Undercover, Bob and Audrey Meisner share their painful experience with adultery, offering wisdom to those whose marriages are under attack. Bob writes, “Concealing the matter concerning me and Audrey was not to cover it up, but to cover it so that healing could take place.” (page 22) I had to underline that one!

They go on to compare this covering to that of a bandage that protects and shields a wound during the time of healing.

Going back to the story of Noah, we can see by the loving kindness of Shem and Japheth that they weren’t simply hiding their father’s failure from the world. Entering the tent backwards was an act of respect on their part and evidence that they loved him.

That’s where the difference lies. Seeking the counsel of a friend from a place of compassion with a desire to heal is different than sitting around the table gossiping about our husband’s faults with other wives, or slandering our husbands because of the pain we’ve endured.

This principle of covering the ones that we love is important when facing big trials in our marriage, but it’s also important to practice the same level of compassion when it comes to the trivial things that get under our skin.

Why? Because fault-finders are every bit as human as those they condemn and every bit as guilty of sin. Just because you’re walking high today, that doesn’t mean you won’t fall tomorrow. And if you do fall into a pit of sin, you’ll be looking for redemption and grace to pull you back out.


It is the glory of God to conceal a thing:
but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.
~ Proverbs 25:2


If you'd like to read Marriage Undercover, you can find it online at Amazon: Click here.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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