Tuesday, July 26, 2011

How to Recover From Infidelity in Marriage to Rebuild Your Relationship With Your Spouse


There is no doubt that infidelity in marriage is one of the biggest kicks in the gut that anyone can receive. Learning that your spouse cheated on you can destroy your faith in them and rock your feelings of stability and safety in the marriage. Being betrayed and deceived by the person you trusted more than anyone else is deeply depressing. Assuming your cheating spouse is willing, the challenge now is working together to build your marriage to something better than you ever had before.

Is this relationship salvageable?

Obviously if you want your marriage to work after infidelity you must both want it big time, if only one wants it sa y goodbye, because you'll be banging your head against a brick wall. You need to sit down and have a serious discussion with your spouse and decide that saving your marriage is something that you both want to do. Be honest with yourself and your spouse and ask them to do likewise. Are you willing to work on your marriage? But more importantly, you need to know if your cheating spouse is willing and able to work on the marriage as well. If he or she isn't willing to work with you, and also make the effort to repair the damage done to you and your relationship, then there really isn't much point in trying to rebuild your marriage.

Give me details

Now that you and your spouse have made a commitment to save your ma rriage, you both need to decide whether you are going to talk about the painful details of the affair and how to handle them if you do. For some spouses who are cheated on it may be essential to discuss the details before they can move forward, while for others the best course may be to not discuss specific intimate details of the affair at all. You have to decide for yourself how much you need to know to heal. Learning all the gory details can either help or hinder your ability to heal. Also, you may end up wishing there were things you didn't know.

Building a better-than-ever relationship with your spouse after being cheated on is never easy. It takes time, and work, but life can come back into focus and you can move forward past the infidelity in marriage and create a brand new foundation for your marriage.


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