Do you have a nagging feeling that there is something not quite right with your relationship with your spouse? Perhaps your intimacy routines and patterns have changed or you are feeling that your spouse is suddenly distant or evasive. Infidelity in marriage is a huge problem, and according to the statistics, one that affects more than 50% of marriages. So what are some of the signs of infidelity in marriage that you should be looking for? Here are the top three.
#1 Technology is a cheaters best friend
Cell phones, e-mails, instant messaging all of these technologies have made it easier for people to cheat. But there are certain suspicious behaviors that should give of warning signs if you suspect your spouse is cheating. First, does their cell phone never leave their side? If you find yourself wanting to check the calls and messages o your partners phone but have a hard time getting to it, that should send out an immediate red flag. Does your spouse receive phone calls they are evasive about, or spend more time running errands than usual? Turns out the car is a great place to call your lover.
If you do finally get access to your spouses cell phone, they are probably smart enough not to list their lover under their name. Typically they will list a new number for a person whom they might be legitimately calling, for example "Mark's work number". If there is a number that gets called frequently, be suspicious. Type that number into a reverse cell phone directory and find out immediately if it really does belong to "'Mark's work".
What about the computer? Does you spouse suddenly close the browser when you walk into the room, or when you check the browsing history do you find that it has always been deleted? These are all classic warning signs of infidelity.
#2 Change in routines and spending habits
In this day and age most spouses will be smart enough not to leave a paper trail of credit card receipts highlighting their suspicious behavior. But has there been an increase in general spending? Have your grocery bills increased, are the amounts getting spent at retailers like walmart, target or Costco getting larger? Grocery stores and many retailers offer "cash back" and getting an extra $20 or $40 cash back every so often is an excellent way to stock pile some cash that can be spent on gifts, getaways and dinners for lovers.
What about general habits? Always "staying late at the office" is a classic sign of infidelity. But what about suddenly joining a gym or taking up a new class or hobby with people you don't know. Joining a gym is a wonderful alibi for cheaters. It offers many advantages. First, when you are (supposedly) at the gym you are unavailable by phone, and you shower before you come home. Your gym locker may also be a great place to stash any incriminating evidence or new gifts fro your lover. Taking a weekly class can be an excellent cover for a weekly love tryst. It is highly plausible that you would make yourself presentable before you go. And be unavailable for a 2-3 hour stretch. Add to that "grabbing a bite to eat" before or after class with new friends and you'v e managed to have a nice cover for a whole evening.
#3 General evasiveness and distance
If you are sensing a general evasiveness and distance in your relationship with your spouse, that might be the biggest clue of infidelity in marriage. Any change in your intimacy routines is a big red flag. Some spouses obviously withdraw and avoid intimacy due to guilt or lack of interest. Others may increase the amount they initiate intimacy to try and avoid suspicion. In any event, lovemaking that becomes purely mechanical is an indicator that things in your marriage are not going well.
Now remember that any one of these items in isolation may not be definitive proof of infidelity, but if you see a pattern emerging you should definitely be concerned.
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